In too deep

My eyes burned as I glanced at the page. I went over each line at a steady pace, so engulfed in the story that I was aware of neither time nor place. I read the last line of the chapter and looked up, in awe of what I had just read.

Everyone had just gone to bad. The only light in the house was the one in the living room, where I sat on the couch, hugging the paperback in my hand: Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix.

I can't stop. Not now. It's only 10:30. There's still plenty of time.

I read the next chapter, and then two more in quick succession before I looked up again. It was past midnight. But I couldn't stop now. Not when the last chapter ended in a cliff-hanger. I need to know more....

And so I kept reading. It did not matter that my entire body ached from uncomfortable sitting positions. It did not matter that my butt was sore from not having stood up in a while. It did not matter that it was way past my usual bed time. All I cared about was the story.

I got up after that chapter and took a walk around the house. My parched mouth thanked me for the large glass of water I gulped down. But I was far from done. Sleep is for the weak. I need to get back to the story. And so I kept on reading.

The story developed, pulling me in deeper and deeper until it became my reality. The silence of the night was broken only by the monotonous ticking of the clock; that and the voices of the characters I heard in my head as I read eagerly.

As another chapter came to a close, I realized what was happening. I had gotten in too deep. And now I couldn't get out. This is exactly what I was afraid of, right from the start. This is why I had limited myself to just one chapter a day.

Now I had broken my own rules that I had set up only for my own good. I tried not to care. About any of them. But it had become increasingly more difficult as I had broken the one rule that was set up to protect me. I care a lot. And as much as I know I will regret it, I care about all those brilliant characters I know wont make it. Dumbledore. Lupin. Snape. Fred... and most importantly,

Sirius. 

I've been dreading reading this book ever since I found out that my favorite character would die in this. But I can't stop reading. I know with each page I'm getting closer to Sirius' death. But I can't stop. I can't stop now. I thought I could just... not care and emerge unscathed. But now I see that its too late for that. I'm in too deep. And the only way out is down.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading.