Abandonment

They all walked out, one by one.
There's hardly any trace of them left behind.
I think I always knew this was going to happen.
But, come the day, I was powerless to stop it.

They held such promise. I was proud to call them friends. Even best friends. It's crazy how you can find someone, similar to you in so many ways. There's an instant spark and a connection you never knew before. Before you know it, you can't live without them. They've become a part of your life. They are the whole cause of your happiness. You would do anything to be with them. Because they are awesome, and all you can think is, how did a bum like me get to be friends with someone as cool as them?

And then, just as quickly, they are drifting away. The spark has died down. The connection is lost. And I'm left stranded, wondering where it all went wrong; where I made a mistake. Just as quickly as strangers became friends, friends have become strangers.

It has happened way too many times. And it's still happening. Why? Why do those friends, who make you feel so good to be around them, just pack up and leave one day, out of the blue, with no explanation? I may still see them, but now they are just a few people I've shared some past secrets with. It doesn't matter anymore.

And now I'm afraid. I'm afraid of enjoying hanging out with someone, because of the fear deep down inside me that if I have too much fun with them, they'll pack up and leave like everybody else. I can't go through that anymore. I've had my fair share of friendships with glorious beginnings and abrupt endings.

So if you're a friend of mine, in whom I've confided a decent amount of secrets, and if you know for a fact that I really like hanging out with you, then I implore you. Don't leave like they did. Leave if you must, but not like that. Not without a word. Not after making me feel its all my fault. Because if I like hanging out with you, then I really like you. And I don't want you to be dark patch in my history of relationships. Don't be one of those people who swore they'd be there for me, only to leave when I wasn't cool enough for them.

How many more times must it happen again, before I can laugh with someone without the fear of desertion? Here's hoping, never again....