It's not everyday you get told that the script you worked on till 1 o'clock in the morning is a piece of shit and can't be used as anything other than toilet paper.
Okay, that's not exactly what happened. But there isn't much of a difference. I worked on the script late into the night, only to be told the next day to start from scratch. And that too by a teacher I admire and respect. Not a good impression.
But the thing is, I've never been rejected on such a large scale before. It's a first time failure. And it's different this time because all my life, I've only been writing for myself. It was just for my personal satisfaction. I never had to meet anyone's expectations but my own. I never had deadlines to meet or people to please. But now, its all different.
The teachers and my comrades have really high expectations. And we have a deadline. The pressure is even higher because this whole thing is a competition. There's a lot riding on me.
The thing about writing that attracted me was that I could do what I want, when I want. Not in this case. This is very different from what I usually do. And I gotta work harder.
I'm not pissed about being turned down. I know I shouldn't be. I kind of knew the script was pretty bad when I finished it. I wasn't satisfied with it. It was not my best work. But I guess, I thought they'd give me ideas and ask me to improve it. I never dreamed they would ask me to get my butt back to Square 1.
If I am serious about following my passion, then this is probably the first of the many failures I would come across. And there's no use coming home and whining about it. I gotta bounce right back and keep trying until I get there.
There's my ego screaming inside that there was nothing wrong with my work. But I know that's not true. It was massively flawed.
I need a break. I need to take a day off. Get away from the stress, and write just for pleasure. Hmm. Sounds good. I should get back to my book. Pick up where I left off. I have to go listen to some music. Or take a walk around the neighborhood. I've been inside the house for too long.
So, no big deal. I just need a break, and I'll bounce back. I always do. One script turns out bad? I just make another. After all, every failure is a step towards success.
I'm getting there. I'll get there. Don't freak out. It's all good.
